When Relena Gets Drunk...
by Ryuu no Tamashii
Summary: What happens when Relena gets drunk and has to go to a meeting?Read to find out!


When Relena gets drunk

Oh Heero!Please!  
Man you woman!Would you leave me alone!?Heero grabbed Relena's hand and wrenched her off him.  
But Heero!  
Heero sighed and turned to face her.  
  
He turned away and headed into his house.Relena tried to follow but he locked the door on her.Relena tried the handle a couple of times before leaving.Heero picked up the phone and called Duo.  
  
Duo?It's me,Heero.  
Yeah hi.What do you want?  
Heero glanced out the window to check if Relena was there.  
How do you get rid of Relena?  
You mean the crazy psychopath?Well,you could try the asylum...  
Tried that already.  
  
Yeah.It was another one of your great' ideas.  
Oh.And it didn't work?  
  
Hmmmmmm.I know!Why don't you take her out on a   
WHAT!?Have you lost your mind?!  
NO!Now listen.You take her too the bar and get her drunk.She's got a speech tonight doesn't she?  
  
Great!Your all set!  
Duo hung up and Heero looked at the phone.  
I hope this works...he muttered while putting the phone down.  
  
Oh Heero!I'm so glad that you are....  
Yeah yeah.I know.You've told me how glad you were seconds ago.  
Relena fell silent.(Thankfully^_^)Heero led her into the bar and to the farthest table before he would let her sit down.  
Ummm....Heero?Are you sure this is a good place for me?  
Of course it is!Now you wait here while I get us our nonalcoholic' drinks.  
Heero hurried over to the counter and tapped the bartender on the shoulder.  
Hey.I need your strongest beer here and a light wine.  
Nodding,the bartender brought out the wine and a couple bottles of whiskey.Heero thanked him,paid him,and hurried back over to the table.  
Here you are.  
Heero?Is this WHISKEY?!  
No of course not!It is a nonalcoholic' drink that LOOKS like whiskey!  
Relena looked at it doubtfully but since the ding bat is so stupid she shrugged and took a sip.  
Hey!This is good!  
Heero nodded and sipped lightly on his wine.Relena drank the whiskey with a will.  
  
Relena finished her seventh bottle and looked up dazedly at Heero.  
Well,*HIC*I'm ready to *HIC*leave....  
Heero nodded and helped her up.he also helped her to walk home until he was sure she was drunk.(Hey.If you knew someone as dense as her you would want to make sure they were really DRUNK)Then Relena groaned.  
I have a BEEPIN' *HIC* speech to...*HIC*...day.  
There's your car.  
Relena got up and somehow made it to her car.(Which was only two feet away)She got in and started it.Heero watched as she backed it out of the driveway,maimed her mailbox,and drive away after knocking three trees over.Heero smiled slightly then went home.  
  
I don't know *HIC* why I *HIC* put up with this *HIC*.  
Relena squinted at the car in front of her and tried to run it down because it looked like it was far away.The driver honked his horn and yelled some obscene words at her.She did the same.A police officer spotted them and walked over.He looked at Relena.  
Madam?I'm going to have to see your li...  
AND I WANT YOU *HIC* TO BEEP OFF!*HIC*  
The police man started.Now Relena finally noticed him but couldn't see very well so she yelled some more at him.  
My God!Is this....QUEEN RELENA!?(Queen my butt!)  
Relena shook her fist at everyone and drove drunkenly away.  
Wait a minute.HEY!MISS RELENA!  
The police man ran over to her car and ran alongside it.  
Would you please step out of the car?  
SHUT THE *HIC* BEEP *HIC* UP!   
Grimly, the police man opened the door and got inside.He turned off the car and took the keys.  
I'm afraid that it is not safe for you to drive anymore madam.  
GIVE ME *HIC* MY BEEPIN' *HIC* KEYS!  
The police man sighed and pushed Relena out of the car.  
I'm sorry madam,but you can not drive and since you are the Queen,I can not arrest you.  
The police man drove off and Relena yelled some more at him.Grumbling,she got up and started to walk to the meeting in the road.Cars honked and veered away sharply while the drivers yelled some words that should not be repeated.Relena ignored them and continued walking.  
  


Meanwhile.....  
  


The people at the table shifted uncomfortably.The man standing by the empty seat looked at his watch.He sighed softly and looked up at the people around the table.  
I'm sorry to say that this meeting shall be canceled because Queen Relena has not shown up and....  
The door slammed and Relena stormed in.She sat down and mumbled something under her breath.  
Queen Relena has arrived!Please stand....  
Will you *HIC* shut-up and *HIC* start this BEEP meeting*HIC*?  
Taken aback, the man started to tell the people why they had been called to the meeting.Relena yawned loudly and stood up.She pushed the man aside.  
I'm sick *HIC* of this BEEPING peace!*HIC*!Lets start a BEEPING *HIC* war!Lets turn this world into BEEP!  
The people looked at each other one stood up and whispered to the man next to her.  
You distract her!I'll call the hospital!  
The woman ran for the phone while the others pounced on the insane Relena.  
WAR!*HIC*!LETS START A *HIC* WAR!  
Soon, sirens were heard and people in white lab coats raced toward Relena holding a straight jacket.They put her in it and carried her back to the ambulance.Relena started laughing crazily.  
  
The ambulance drove away with Relena laughing strangely.When they reached the asylum they threw her into a padded cell.Relena fell asleep.  
  


Next Morning....  
  


Relena woke up with the biggest headache she had ever had.  
  
She tried to move but couldn't because of the little white jacket around her.She looked up.  
What am I doing in a padded room?  
  


Meanwhile...  
  


The phone rang and Heero picked it up.  
  
Heero!Help me!  
Huh?Relena?What's wrong?  
I'm in a padded room with a funny jacket on and I'm being observed!  
Hang on a minute will you?  
Heero hung the phone up and looked at Duo who was straining forward to hear what Relena had wanted.  
She's in a padded room with a funny jacket on.  
YES!SHE'S GONE!WHOOOO-HOOOOO!  
Should I go get her?  
Duo raised an eyebrow.  
You are such an idiot sometimes Heero.Leave her.  
The phone rang again and Duo quickly pulled the plug out.  
Lets leave her there for awhile.We need a break.  
Heero nodded.  
Lets go tell the others the good news!Duo grinned.  
They both left and headed for the others houses.  
  


The End


End file.
